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Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Lifeless...
I feel so tired and lifeless right now.. I'm beginning to feel that life sux and life is getting meaningless. What's the point of living when all u get is shit? True.. life is full of ups and downs.. for some people, the ups are more.. and for others, the downs are more. For me, looks like the downs are going to be regular in my life.

My grandad was hospitalized last Thursday, the day after he came to my house. Apparently, he suffered a minor stroke. He's getting better though and will be able to go back in 2-3 days' time.

Last night, my family had our version of world war 3. And it was all because of stupid TV. I realised that my family members are quite suicidal, myself included, though no one knows that about me. I feel so helplesss, lifeless and worthless. I feel like a total failure who's lived in an illusion that I'm a good person. In true fact, I'm an arse.

--»°©°«-{~WíThõüT â ThõüGhT, WíThõüT â VõíCè, WíThõüT â §õü£~}-»°©°«--

~ { 10:17 AM }
[-Take Me As I Am-]



Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Restlessness
Restlessness.. that's what I've been feeling these days. Something cropped up at home and I've been restless just thinking and worrying about family issues.

My grandfather came to our house today looking for my mum, and complaining that his leg was aching because he fell a few days ago. I asked him further about it, but my 6th sense told me that it was just an underlying way for him to ask for some money, which I gave, of course.

During his visit, amongst all the things that he said, something got me thinking. He was sharing with me how his children never really cared to come and visit him or get to know his condition, and help him settle some of his own family concerns back home in his homeland. This kinda got me thinking and made me reflect on my own family culture. Will we be like that? Will we end up not caring for our parents enough, once we have our own family to care for, busy with our own lives? It would be truly sad if it is going to be a reality..

One of my friends shared with me his woe, that he was being treated like a piece of cloth, whereby he's needed only to clean things up or when there's a necessity. I guess that's part and parcel of life. Some people just treat you that way, and the fact that you allow them to do so doesn't mean that you're weak and can be used or picked upon. It just means that you're trying to be helpful to people who just don't appreciate your actions. At this point, I wonder, do people really take each other for granted? Do you? Do I? *thinks hard*

--»°©°«-{~WíThõüT â ThõüGhT, WíThõüT â VõíCè, WíThõüT â §õü£~}-»°©°«--

~ { 10:55 PM }
[-Take Me As I Am-]